If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Who was worse than Hitler? Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree ? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was attached to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How did the blond die? Substance abuse

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the woman have sex with the man? Because she is over 18, which is above all of the legal consent ages in the United States.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anne Frank.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

timmy: a duck walks up to a lemon stand and says to the man running the stand hey... Paul: what r u talking about its duck it can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the mushroom jock say to the mushroom nerd? your and ugly wimpy mushroom....and i am on steroids

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Chaney is a dumb b****

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: Why do so many of these anti jokes contain refrigerators? A: Seriously I don't know why

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What happened to the kid who slept on a roof? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q- Why was Dan mourning the death of his wife? A- He wasn't he was mourning the death of his daughter who was killed in the same car crash as her mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Chuck Norris died.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the greeter at walmart say to the black man? Welcome to walmart.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Three blondes walk into a community college.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops