Why didn't the man kiss his wife. Because he had no lips.

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What's worse than a woman driver? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They are obviously different species but they both have wings and are birds and are actually pretty similar. Geese are usually bigger though I guess.

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Do thumbs down me likes in this anti joke website?

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I hate being bipolar, it's so awesome.

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whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

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When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

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what happened to the chicken that crossed the road? it got hit by a taco truck

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What did the dead man say at his own funeral? Nothing, he's dead...

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Whats funny? Nick Sotelo

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Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

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Today i told myself i would write a joke... Joke... ????????????LAUGH!????????????

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*ring ring ring* hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) *beep beep beep*

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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What's black and white, and red all over? newspaper...

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What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Where are the keys?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

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What do Laura Bush and 9/11 have in common? George Bush did them.

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

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S.O.P.A

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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