Why did the man drop his glasses? His hand was sweaty.

A man walked into the bar and ordered a drink, drank it then stood up and left remembering that he once had a drinking problem and had overcome it.

two muffins are in an oven one muffin says man its pretty hot in here and the other muffin says oh my god a talking muffin

What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

What do you call two homosexuals in fancy hats? It depends, you have to ask their names first.

Whats black and has wheels a black man i lied about the wheels

How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

What wears a white robe and shines? A special boar.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? I don't know, I don't look when he bends over because I don't like him like that. He's just a friend, that's all.

A woman is home washing her dishes when she suddenly slips banging her head on a cabinet. She passed out for a few seconds, then woke to find a great gash on her left cheek, fairly spurting blood. At the emergency room, the doctor asks, "How did this happen?" The woman replied, "My boy friend tried to drown me."

When I was at the beach digging in the sand I looked down and someone said nehow

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

A guy named Dick goes into a bar and the barman says: - "hey, show my your dick" - "show you my what?" asks Dick. - "your dick!" - "oh! no, I'm shy"

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding a apple in your worm.

A Jewish man overhears another man making a joke about the Holocaust. The Jew says, "Hey! You! My father died in the Holocaust!" The other man says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What camp was he in?" The Jew says, "Camp? No, my father had a heart attack."

whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died...

whats pale and white your ass.

What do you call a gay African American Jewish German flight attendant who is addicted to many hard drugs? His name.

What do you say when Obama gets shot? Some finaly had enough balls to shoot a black person. N.P.P.

Vagina-Boob

dog

What happened to Jim. He died his funeral is tomorrow.

Q: Why did the horse put on cologne? A: He wanted to smell nice.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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