Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead-

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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what do you call a diver with no arms and no legs? a bobber

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What's worse than an empty bottle of Yoohoo? Literally nothing.

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A:Will you be my valentine? B:No

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Do yo know what a decasexual is? A decasexual, as defined on various websites, is somebody who has strong physical attractions to male humans, female humans, male animals, female animals, sounds, smells, tastes, feelings, movements and objects. The term decasexual derives from the latin language, meaning "ten sexualities". Decasexuals exist everywhere.

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A Jew and a Muslim are sitting in a bar. The Muslim asks the Jew for some money to buy a drink. The Jew said, "how much?" The Muslim said, "$7.00" The Jew then said, "yes."

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What's black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, but doesn't look like a duck? A horse named Quackie

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what did the orphan say to the adults wanting to adopt him? i hope u will provide well living conditions because i have lost both of my parents and am forced to live off one meal a day

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a convicted rapist.

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My Girlfriend

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Knock Knock It's Open!

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Star Wars

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

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Peas and Corn. Porn., a deer

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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What has two feet and cant walk? a cripple

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Two Jewish kids walked into a bar... mitzvot.

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Knock knock, Knock knock jokes aren't funny.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

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Why didn't Jane buy an ice-cream? Because she was lactose intolerant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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