What is 10 inches long and didnt get sucked on valentines day? Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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What do you call a pig sizzling in a pan? BACON!

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

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Knock knock? Who's there? Madeline i am back!! :D

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What's worse than the front page of anti-joke.com? The 4945th page of anti-joke.com, as those jokes have been rated poorly by other users.

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Whats red and hurts if it hits you in the face? a brick

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what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

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Yo Mommas so poor, when i went to her house and started to clear out the cob webs, she said why the heck are you tearing down the curtains.

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HARRY EFFING STYLES

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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What's the difference between a Jew and Hitler? Well, I asked you so I don't know why you said "what?".

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What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

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Womens' rights.

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Q: What did the black guy say when he stubbed his toe? A: Ouch.

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Ken: Your dog is sick, he needs to see a vet. Megan: Omg, what is it? Ken: It's a medical person who treats animals.

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A bar walks into a bar, it is then you realize you are in an alternate dimension.

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say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

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What did the Muslim do after his friend told him a funny joke ? Laugh.

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What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

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here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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