Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

in the begining... god made some stuff

The doctor comes out of the room and tells the new parents that there is good news and bad news. The couple says they want to hear the bad news first. The doctor says "your baby is black." The couple then ask "what is the good news?", the doctor replies "your baby is dead."

What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

What did the priest say to the rabbi? "Hey Joe, how's the family?"

Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To mourn the loss of his daughter who died due a fatal car crash, caused by him while he was driving. across the street

Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

What do you call a fat ethiopian. Impossible

Q:Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple A:You have AIDS

What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

How can you tell if a Mexican's gay? Ask politely.

What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

Q:Why did the man get hit by the car? A:He was standing on the road.. ;DDD

How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

What did the tourist in Africa get? A souvenior.

Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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