How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

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How many girls does it take to sell out a Justin Beiber concert? None, all of them are boys.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a mosque.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven shot up his school and ate nine kids. Also before he was arrested he told six he was going to blow his brains out. Then he murdered the police and has been on the run ever since.

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Susie has Autism

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Why couldn't the mexican feed his family? Because a large percent of mexican immigrants in the United States do not have jobs due to dicrimination against illegal immigrants crossing the soutern border, thus rendering them more vunerable to unemployment is that is vastly present in the United States.

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What is worse worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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Why didn't the bear go snowboarding? It was hibernating

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Why did the man jump off the bridge. Because he found his beloved wife cheating on him with his life-long friend that he meet when they both where in pre-school.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Do you wanna build a snowman? Person: do you wanna live * or nah

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potato farming

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Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

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What do Laura Bush and 9/11 have in common? George Bush did them.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? I don't Know, but we should inform the RSPCA.

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how do you upset a barber? Murder his family

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There was an old man from Limerick. He was of scottish ancestry and nearing his 76th birthday.

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Why did the ckicken cross the road? to kiss my ass

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How did the Jews get out of Germany? They didn't..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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