What do you call a row of houses that are all different size? A poorly thought out construction project that has enraged townspeople.

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Jonny runs with scissors. He gets hit by a bus.

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A blind guy sees a nuclear bomb.... he dies.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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-What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage. _________________________________________________________________ -What's the difference between 1,000 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't use a pitch fork to move my Lamborghini.

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what did the black person say to the midget my dicks bigger than u

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Small titties.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and determination.

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What's worse than 100 babies tied to a tree. 1 baby tied to 100 trees

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Your mom goes to college

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You know what happens when you assume? You base a conclusion on insufficient information.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I can't stick my dick in a watermelon.

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Lil' Wayne

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Yo mamma is so fat, when Dracula bit her, he got type 2 diabetes.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

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i felt like burning some calories so i lit a fat kid on fire

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Question : Why did the boy need to change his pants? Answer: During recess, the little boy was running to fast and fell on the ground. Then kid he has been bullying pissed on his leg.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

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what do you call a fish without eyes? a fshhhhh

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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Your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it says 300 lbs.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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