Why did the ckicken cross the road? to kiss my ass

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There was an old man from Limerick. He was of scottish ancestry and nearing his 76th birthday.

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How did the Jews get out of Germany? They didn't..

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Why did the lizard turn blue? He was low on oxygen.

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How do you stop a train? Throw a fridge at it.

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Q: who is the worst person to ever post "jokes" on anti-joke.com? A: ryan valee

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Why was the kid underwater? He hit a rock.

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How do you make Sasuke cry? Kill his family

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An Oldish (probably 27) man walks into a chuck-e cheese, He then puts on his coustume.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Not the World Trade Center.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

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What is red, and bucket shaped? A red bucket.

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Ask me if I'm a peanut. Are you a peanut? Yes. Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No, I'm a peanut.

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What is an anti-joke? This is.

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you just lost the game!

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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whats worse then biting into a worm and finding an apple??? getting raped up the butt by a giant tiger!

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why did oprah, your mother, and a monkey on a rock have in common? the ability to fornicate

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roses are red violets are blue last time I saw u were in a zoo don't worry ill be there to not in a cage but laughing at u

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OGC - tilt your head

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A woman goes to the doctor.....She has terminal cancer.

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Q: What did the casual mathematician discover at the end of his vivid rainbow of dreams (Question mark- key`s screwed) A: Enough dirt to fill 3141592+ treasure chests to the brim.

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What do you call a row of houses that are all different size? A poorly thought out construction project that has enraged townspeople.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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