Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

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The doctor said he had good news and bad news. I asked for the bad news first. He said, "You have AIDS. I asked what the good news was. He said "You will only have it about a year."

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what's the funniest anti joke? not this one

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Why did the little girl selling lemon aid die? Someone drove by and threw a fridge at her

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

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Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

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Why did the young boy say "Fuck"? He has Tourrete's

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Ken: Your dog is sick, he needs to see a vet. Megan: Omg, what is it? Ken: It's a medical person who treats animals.

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What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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Bin Laden is dead.

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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Why couldn't JImmy walk to school? A:Jimmy is in a wheelchair.

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Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

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Person 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Person 2: Sure! Person:1: That was the joke... You missed it!!!!!

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? Jamal

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What do you call a Colombian who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Rebbeca black walked into a bar on Saturday

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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