Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Who are you?

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How many drunk Irishmen did it take to change the lightbulb? None, the bulb was fine.

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How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

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What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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What's big white and cant climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

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Unflushed Shit...

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

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A Mexican, A Jew and a Irishman walk into a grocery store...The Mexican buys some bread, the Jew buys some bread... and the Irishman buys some bread.

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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Okay on a scale Casey Anthony to Jerry Pandusky how much do you love your kids?

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Why did the girl hang herself? She was constantly bullied in school and on the internet.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Dementia Dementia who Knock, Knock

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Why couldn't the boy see his sick mother? Because he was blind

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What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

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nock nock who's there i eat mop i eat mop ho i didn't know you eat your poo. the wedding is off and go **** yourself in a hole!!

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Q: What's funnier than 24? A: 25.

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A guy walks into the bathroom, sits down and poops.

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Two gay men enjoy a wonderful second date together.

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What did Gene give Carla for Christmas? AIDS

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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Q: What is worse than bitting in to an apple and finding a worm? A: Bitting in to a worm and finding an apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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