What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

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Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

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Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

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What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

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What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

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What's worse than nine dead babies hanging in a tree? One dead baby hanging in nine trees.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

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Why did the baby cross the road. It was stapled to the chicken.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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2 peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted .. the other was raped

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

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What do you call a Mexican who gets shot on a golf course? A tragic incident.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Whoa! A talking carrot!

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

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Q.What's worse than running over a dog on the road? A.9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops