A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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a man walked into a bar, however the bar was in Pakistan so he got shot by terrorists

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minced oaths

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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your mom is so lesbian that in prder to have you she planted a seed in her vagina because she refused to have sex with a man

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Why cant stevie wonder see? He is blind

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Stevie wonder walks across the road without looking both ways.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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Sup homie G. Shutup you are not black.

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Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

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Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

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What do you call five dogs with no balls? Five bitches.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What's one thing a black man can't have? White skin

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Why did a lady get in a car crash? Because woman don't drive, they stay in the kitchen!

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whats worse than fining 7 dead babies in 1 trash can? finding 1 dead baby in 7 trashcans!

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yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

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why did the boy have no friends ? Because he lived in a small cottage miles away from any civilization with his overly strict parents who would not let him see the daylight and deprived him of any kind of childhood, he has no social skills and does not know how to interact with other human beings at no fault of his own. he is also dead

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What's the difference between a white guy and a black guy? Their skin color.

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What do you give a Penn State waterboy for Halloween - Candy

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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yo mama is so fat she went to the doctor and the doctor told her she had diabetes

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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