How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

A baby seal walks into a club.

do you know what's so funny? yup

What did the lover say to his lover? I love you

Konock Konock Uh, you spelt knock knock wrong... Oh.

Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because i was keeping his family at gun-point on the other side.

What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing? Answer - A gay homosexual

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs after he got into a fight with his cat? You call him by his name and apologize for leaving catnip on his head.

Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon

A black man, a jew and a racist walk into a bar, The racist proceeds to be a racist

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

Lamborghini mercy, yo chick she so thirsty Swerve, swerve

How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

What did Lady Gaga say to Justin Timberlake? "I love the Backstreet Boys!" Justin Timberlake Replied with a Bazooka.

What did the Mexican say to the Black guy? Nice to meet you Mr. President. I'm Antonio Villaraigosa, the Mayor of Los Angeles.

Steve Jobs.

what is black and white and red all over.....a nun being murdered

Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

Q.What is the bigest lie in the universe? A. I have read and agree the the Terms of Service.

Why did Doris fall down the stairs? Because she was a stupid, uncoordinated old hag with no control over her bladder.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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