Wanna hear an oxymoron? Jews for Jesus.

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what do you call a stupid chav? Gifted

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Superman: Batman, can you drive? Batman: No, but I can drive the batmobile.

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What do you call a guy who acts straight but is really not? Verl.

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A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a truck

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I asked the librarian for a book on suicide. She said "I'm sorry we don't have those in stock." So I just hung myself.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There?" "Sara" "Come in, we will have a cup of coffee in the good company of each other."

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why didn't bobby eat breakfast? because i stapled his head to the floor

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A handicapped man rolls into a bar. He buys a drink, talks for a while, and rolls out.

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Why did the bird fall? It was an ostrich

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Knock! Knock! Whose there? Chris Chris who? (There was never a response. Leaving the man to wonder who Chris was... Was it his high school buddy Chris? His former colleague? That guy who filled his propane tank down at the gas station? Was that guy's name even Chris-or was it Craig? Craig, it was definitely Craig.)

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What is an anti-joke? This is.

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Why do black people eat at KFC? Because KFC serves good food at reasonable prices.

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How many black guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None can, since noone can work together because they cant see eachother.

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Its Adolf, we're going to camp."

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What is Osama Bin Laden's favorite food? I don't know, and to be completely honest I doubt you do either.

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Dan O'Driscoll

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Q:When a terrorist attack happened what did the woman with the 1 leg say? A: HOP for your lives!!!!

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what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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Guy 1: Yo dawg Guy 2: DID yOU JUST FUCKING CALL ME A DOG>/?>/???? Guy 3: Yea

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What's worse then being HIV positive? Catching the cold the next day.

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A man walks to a bar. He drinks too much and dies. His family is informed later that evening.

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Why was 9 afraid of 1? Because when dialed together, an emergency call was most likely coming and 9 is very sensitive to those types of moments

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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