What do you call a lady that cleans? A cleaning lady.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Two black guys walk into a bar and arrest the under age drinkers

thumb_up thumb_down -50

whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Knock knock? Who's there? Madeline i am back!! :D

thumb_up thumb_down -110

Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? Here is the answer: A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? Here, in this case, with design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process. ------ Nothing to see here, end of the joke. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +83

What is worse than a paper cut? two paper cuts What is worse than two paper cuts The Holocaust What is worse than The Holocaust Three paper cuts

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

what's the funniest anti joke? not this one

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Your not having a bad day, your just doing everything wrong!

thumb_up thumb_down +49

A bar walks into a bar, it is then you realize you are in an alternate dimension.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

why couldnt the gay man marry??? cause he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

I used to walk in front of archers, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's sad about 3 Black Guys in a Camero? It was my car...

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Ken: Your dog is sick, he needs to see a vet. Megan: Omg, what is it? Ken: It's a medical person who treats animals.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Knock Knock Come in, the door's open.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops