why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

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Why do black people cuss so much? Because f#*% you.

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What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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A man walks into a bar, then he realized he didn't have any money, so he walked out.

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What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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A bar walks into your mother.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Who are you?

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

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Yo mama so fat she has an increased risk of blood clots!

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Mean while... at Jerry Sandusky's house

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

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Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

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women have rights

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red painting.

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Chuck Norris died.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Disc . Disc Who. Disconnected.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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A man in a bar says "I'm drunk", immediately 10 men take of their clothes

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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