a guy takes viatamins thinking they would help him be healthy he choked and then he died from choking on a jolly rancher

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I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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what is brown and sticky? a stick

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When Jesus came back from the dead the first thing he said was "It was just a prank bro!"

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Where does a leper go every Monday and Wednesday? The dermatologist.

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Whats red and hairy ? A carpet !

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What do you call a black man with scissors.? A Barber.

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I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

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what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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What did mr. Mackey say to his class. It's easy mkay

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i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

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What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

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What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

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Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

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How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Once you go black you may be more open to dating a second black person.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

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h

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Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops