What did the penis say to the vagina? Nothing, genitalia can't speak.

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Yo mamma so fat that she was chosen to be a contestant on the Biggest Loser and we are all so proud of the amount of weight she has lost.

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Why was little Johnny sad? His parents were killed in an awful fire

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Poop

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Why can't stars marry? Because they are masses of incandescent gas and thus have no feelings.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape her abusive father

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So a man rapes a little girl but rips her eyes out before he does it. In court he said the appropriate thing about this was that she could not see it cuming.

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whats short and has spots? A mouse with the chicken pocks.

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I love you Itachi Uchiha, please let me lick ice cream off of your body and oh crap you're an anime character and not real never mind

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what do you get when you cross do you get when you cross a banana and a monkey? one happy monkey

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Do you like fishsticks? If so you are not a homosexual fish as fishsticks are a frozen food rather than fish genitalia.

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when life gives you 100 reasons to cry, you should cry. you're lucky you haven't killed yourself at this point

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What do you call a supporter of Barrack Obama? A welfare recipient

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Whats worse than ten babies in one bin? One baby in ten bins.

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The biggest lie on earth: I have read and agree to the terms of use.

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What do you sit on, sleep on and brush your teeth with? A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush

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Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street, Paddy says to Murphy, "Alright Murphy? How's the kids?" Murphy says to Paddy, "Not bad, thanks."

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I used to be a schizophrenic but we're okay now

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Violets are red Roses are blue I scrrewed that up Now can i screw you?

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There are two horses in a stable. They were just talking about the weather and other normal things. Suddenly, the dog ran in. "HELP, HELP!!!" The dog screamed. Farmer Brandy got stuck in the tractor!!! The horses said, "HOLY SHIT........... A TALKING DOG!!!!"

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When life gives you: High Fructose Corn Syrup,Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid,Maltodextrin, Sodium Acid Phosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Calcium Fumarate, Yellow 5, Tocopherol, and less than 2% natural flavours... Make lemonade.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? genocide whats worse than genocide? getting raped by a giant scorpion

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How do Chinese people name their kids? The couple discuss possible names and then pick the one that they feel suits the child best.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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