Why did the bride get a refrigerator for her wedding? Because it is a very nice present

What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

Did you hear the Joke about the Deaf kid? Neither did he.

What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

"Hell nahhh I called shotgun" -Rosa Parks

A woman gets in her car to drive.

Q: What did Hellen Keller say to the pizza delivery man A: Stop raping me.

What's the fastest animal on earth? An Ethiopian chicken.

whats the best way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

whats funny? ebola and 911

Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

what's white on top and black on the bottom? Society

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a fox stapled to his face.

Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

jess yawns with no hands in front of her mouth. true story.

What's worse than hearing another Holocaust anti-joke? The Holocaust.

One time a man cut off Chuck Norris while driving, and Chuck Norris kindly excused the man's lack of consideration for his fellow drivers.

What do you get when you combine High Fructose corn syrup. sunflower oil, carbohydrates, and water. How the heck should I know!

The pennis has a tuff life, his best friend is a pussy, his neighbors is an A hole, his family is nuts, and his master beats him.

Knock Knock No one answers....

Happiness is just at the end of the road... Just take a look at how long that road is yeah i wouldnt even try

What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

Q: Who won the fight of two black guys and a white guy? A: The black and white guy because two is better than one.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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