What did the husband tell his obese wife? I love you honey

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What did the black man, chinese man, and mexican man all have in common? They all happened to enjoy cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why couldn't Maria play Softball? She was born without legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What's big and purple? Something that's big and purple

thumb_up thumb_down +50

roses are red violets are blue kiss my ass you god damb goe..

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Rebecca Black.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Women

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

thumb_up thumb_down +44

two boys break out in a verbal fight. the first boy says your so stupid youd sell a cow for a gallon of milk. the second boy replied, i agree with you 110%.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Patiant: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains Doctor: ok Patiant: what shall i do ? Doctor: Go how and stop wasting my time

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What should I name my dog?

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

cms.......?????

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A British man walks into a dental office.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Patrick is gay

thumb_up thumb_down +36

People talk about how there grandparents was in the holocaust well my grandpa was to he died. How he fell off the guard tower.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

thumb_up thumb_down +34

You wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I slipped in mud. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is a guy..

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Whats worst than being attacked by a tiger? Being attacked by 2 tigers.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a piece of toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops