A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

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What do you call a Mexican who gets shot on a golf course? A tragic incident.

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Whats worse than HIV? AIDS

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

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minced oaths

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

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Whoa! A talking carrot!

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

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a man walked into a bar, however the bar was in Pakistan so he got shot by terrorists

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Q.What's worse than running over a dog on the road? A.9/11

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Stevie wonder walks across the road without looking both ways.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why cant stevie wonder see? He is blind

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your mom is so lesbian that in prder to have you she planted a seed in her vagina because she refused to have sex with a man

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

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Sup homie G. Shutup you are not black.

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Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

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What do you call five dogs with no balls? Five bitches.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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