roses are red, violets are violet

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Why are we on a roof? Becuse some idiot gave us all roofies.

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Where did Jimmy go after the bombing? Everywhere.

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So a seal walks into a bar... ...seals can't walk.

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D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was attached to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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me:I will trade you 5 dollars for 10 dollars blond: Okay! me: ...

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a catholic priest and a young boy

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What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

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A man in a bar says "I'm drunk", immediately 10 men take of their clothes

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How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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Why'd the first koala fall out of the tree? He died. Why'd the second koala fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first koala. Why'd the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game. Why'd the refrigerator fall out of the tree? He thought he was a koala. Why'd the boy fall off the swing? He was hit by 3 koalas and a refrigerator. Why'd the boy fall off his bike? He had no arms or legs

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What did the greeter at walmart say to the black man? Welcome to walmart.

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yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

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What did the man tell his parents after having sex with another man? A. I am gay.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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Howmuch wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Anyone? I'm trying to settle a bet.

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Q: What word contains all the letters in the alphabet? A: A made-up word, probably.

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What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

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What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

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Why didn't the depressed girl go on facebook? She was dead

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Whats white, and edible? white chocolate

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How do you make a clown cry? You kill his family and chop off his legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops