What's the fastest animal on earth? An Ethiopian chicken.

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What sucks?

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Your mama's so fat, that during her last physical checkup, her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to lose some weight before any serious medical conditions arose that would adversely affect her health and well being in a chronic fashion.

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Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

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Bin Laden comes out of a cave

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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A man and woman are out to eat on their first date. When the woman goes to pay, the man explains that he will cover the cost of the meal. That's a good thing because the woman didn't actually have any money. This happens all the time.

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

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How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

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What did the town guard say to the adventurer? "I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I got a full-time job so that I could support my family and spend more time with my children."

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Mr. Burns sex scandal.

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why did the farmer cry after a phone call? he just found out his wife just died of lung cancer

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What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: Because of Kevin Spacey's chilling performance.

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What's funny about being adopted? Your parents never loved you

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What did the mail man say to the resident? I have your mail. Now let's f*ck.

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How do women learn to drive? Drivers ED.

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You are in England which has a law about not moving traffic when these idk some kinda swans cross the road. You see a fat woman in a car and she is waiting for the swans to cross the road and she can't drive the car else she would get in trouble by law. What do you do? Feed her

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A guy walks into a bar. The universe instantly shatters around him under the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through the void amongst the shards of his broken reality. This is the worst joke ever.

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yo mama is so fat she went to the doctor and the doctor told her she had diabetes

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What did the man from Hiroshima see when he looked up at the sky on August 6th, 1945? Some birds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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