Bert: Hey, what you got there? Sal: Nothing.

How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern pornography collections.

Q:what has legs but may never walk? A: a table

Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

Why didn't the man kiss his wife. Because he had no lips.

What's orange and doesn't bounce? A flat basketball

2

What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

Why was the black man hanged? He was charged with piracy in the 1500s..

What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

How many girls does it take to sell out a Justin Beiber concert? None, all of them are boys.

A man walks into a bar... And orders a drink

Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What do you call a fly with no wings? A fly.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven shot up his school and ate nine kids. Also before he was arrested he told six he was going to blow his brains out. Then he murdered the police and has been on the run ever since.

BARRACK OBAMA.............WHAT A JOKE!!!!!

What is red and not there? No tomatoes.

What is worse worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

Dozer has a soul

What has two feet and cant walk? a cripple

Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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