Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens do not possess the mental capacity to grasp the idea of "roads"

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Whats red and hurts if it hits you in the face? a brick

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What do you call a black man driving a police car? Officer

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Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

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what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

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roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

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What did the bubble do to the wall? Nothing it is a Bubble.

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Q: What did the black guy say when he stubbed his toe? A: Ouch.

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Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

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The Holocaust

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What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

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What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

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roses are blue violets are red I am dyslexic and possibly a Jew EJ

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Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

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What is a bear's favorite televison show? It doesnt have one because it is a bear which makes watching television an illogical fallacy.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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