A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

Why do black people cuss so much? Because f#*% you.

What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

A baby seal walks into a club...

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

A man walks into a bar, then he realized he didn't have any money, so he walked out.

What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

A bar walks into your mother.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Who are you?

What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

Mean while... at Jerry Sandusky's house

Knock Knock. Whos there? Death

What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red painting.

2 peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted .. the other was raped

Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

women have rights

What do you get when an Asian and a black person have a baby? Black and yellow. Black and yellow. Black and yellow. :)

What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

Hitler was a pretty good guy I guess

Chuck Norris died.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Disc . Disc Who. Disconnected.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

A man in a bar says "I'm drunk", immediately 10 men take of their clothes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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