Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

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A man in a bar says "I'm drunk", immediately 10 men take of their clothes

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Why did Billy fall down? Because his brain was replaced with a piece of toast.

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A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What do you call a Chinese man in a cage full of Ostridges? A zoo worker.

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Why did Timmy stop running? He got hit by a bus

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Two gay men enjoy a wonderful second date together.

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what is black and white and red all over.....a nun being murdered

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Women's rights.

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What is samios' favorite position? ;) Full back... In the bum.

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Oprah is black and the richest women in the world!!!

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what did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? cancer.

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Hi! This is Richard Young, I'll take it from here Ms.Mcgruder, lets find a quiet place to talk about this, e.c. at 5:00 p.m. tomarrow.

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Why was Ray Charles always smiling? because he was a happy guy

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

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How many beans are in a soup? Who cares i'm starving, Lets Eat!!!

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whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

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Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

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What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

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how do you say desk in spanish? escritorio

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What do you call a black man driving a car? A driver.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops