How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

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So this is an anti-joke website, right?

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

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What's white and comes out of a long black stick? Milk with a long black straw.

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There are four black people near each other ? KITKAT !!! :D

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned

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What's hard and straight going in, and soft and sticky coming out? chewing gum

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What happens when you eat all the strawberries? They are GONE...

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Who wakes up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy? P. Diddy.

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What did Billy get for christmas? Nothing he died of lung cancer.

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i love antijokes

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What do you call a black priest? HOLY SHIT!!!

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall underwater? dam

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree ... Because it was dead

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he dropped his phone fell in.

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Your Mom

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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A Jew doesn't walk out of the Holocaust.

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Hello I'm a fat kid

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Who lives with josh moran? A gay asian

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My mother-in-law is so fat that I sometimes worry my wife will look just like her after she gives birth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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