A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call someone who is blind and deaf? Dumb.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house. No. Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was the asian guy's eyes slanted? Your question is a very valid one that most people often wonder, but never really ask. It's called an epicanthal fold...please, NOT "slanted eyes". Many people consider this to be a derogatory description of the descendents or those of Eastern Asia (as do I, being half Korean), but most people are unaware of this and say it anyway. I'll assume you didn't know this. :) The epicanthal fold (what we have) is something that all babies are born with, but those who may not be of Eastern Asian origin will eventually lose. The purpose of this "fold" is to protect the eyes from extreme sunlight and cold weather. Most people of the this part of Asia originated in Mongolia where the weather conditions were very cold and harsh. Also, with most of this population, you'll notice that there exists some extra padding below the eyes as well. With all that white snow and the sunlight reflecting off of it, don't you think with time our bodies would develop some sort of defense for one of our most valued senses--our sight? It makes sense, doesn't it? Also, notice, that the farther south you travel in Eastern Asia the "rounder" the eye gets (their is less evidence of the epicanthal fold), since the climate gets warmer the farther south you go. Evolution, baby. So, Eastern Asian eyes are NOT really slanted. They just appear to be. Instead they just have that extra fold above the eyes that make them appear "thinner", if you will. If you want to sound halfway intelligent, please don't use the description "slanted eyes" anymore, since this will only make you seem like somewhat of a bigot (racist). (You might say it around the wrong person one day.) Sorry, but I'm just trying to give you some good advice. I hope I helped.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's 5+7? Piccillo

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's big white and cant climb a tree? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call five dogs with no balls? Five bitches.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a Mexican and a Black man on the moon? Astronauts.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why didn't the depressed girl go on facebook? She was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did the boy have no friends ? Because he lived in a small cottage miles away from any civilization with his overly strict parents who would not let him see the daylight and deprived him of any kind of childhood, he has no social skills and does not know how to interact with other human beings at no fault of his own. he is also dead

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because i was keeping his family at gun-point on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the best part of having a doctor for a best friend? The sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you get if you cross a black man with a sword? A dead black man

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a man with short legs? Whatever his name is

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops