How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Wy did Bryan eet his Dumbelllle? Anderson fell asleep again

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between a white guy and a black guy? Their skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did a lady get in a car crash? Because woman don't drive, they stay in the kitchen!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats worse than fining 7 dead babies in 1 trash can? finding 1 dead baby in 7 trashcans!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

WHATS WORSE THAN THE HOLOCAUST A FLAT TIRE

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what happens when you mix a black guy and a Mexican? nothing, it is physically impossible to "mix" people.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the asian die? he was driving

thumb_up thumb_down +17

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Jeff" "Jeff who?" "Jeff Johnson" "From the office?" "No I work at the dehli" "The one on 6th avenue?" "No, the one on Park." "What do you want?" "Could you open the door?" "No, I don't know you" "Isn't this Mr. Walter's house?" "No, my name is Roger Stevens" "I'm sorry I must be at the wrong house" "What address are you looking for?" "15322 N Gary street" "This is 15323 N Gary" "Oh I'm sorry" "Try knocking across the street" "Thank you"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock knock whos there punctuation

thumb_up thumb_down +15

penis that is all

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's black, white, and red all over? A white man's bleeding cancerous tumor.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the frog fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the monkey,

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Hi! This is Richard Young, I'll take it from here Ms.Mcgruder, lets find a quiet place to talk about this, e.c. at 5:00 p.m. tomarrow.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a bicycle that likes threesomes. A tricycle

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did Lady Gaga say to Justin Timberlake? "I love the Backstreet Boys!" Justin Timberlake Replied with a Bazooka.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops