i fondle myself every night....

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is black, white, and red all over? A domino dipped in kitten blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Friends and Potatoes are similar...if u eat them try die.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the man buy a rope? Because he needed a noose

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's better than Justin Bieber's new hit single, "Baby"? Everything

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: Why did the young boy run away from girls and screamed that they had cooties? A: That's what little boys do. He also has an abusive home life

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you get when you mix red and yellow? Orange.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man orders 3,687 bricks. He gets 3,688 bricks delivered to him. He throws the extra brick in the air. Ok, so a man is smoking a cigar by a woman with a small poodle. They are both in a plane. The woman asks the man if he could get rid of the cigar because the smoke is making her dog turn green. The man refuses. In anger, she throws the cigar out of the window. The man gets angry and throws the poodle out the window. What lands in the poodles mouth when it's falling? The brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock knock. Who's there? Ben. Oh hi! come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

"Billy Mays here!" No he's not. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What does the black guy say to his black friend? "I like Watermelon, Grape Drink, and Fried Chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the best part about a birthday cake? Eating it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chick cross the road? He didn't. He was attending his father's funeral, who had been killed earlier that week by an oncoming car as he was crossing the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A simple math problem. If 10% of men are gay, and 20% of men are chinese what is the probability that a man chosen at random spends his free time and meal time both on his knees?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock knock Who's there? Forever alone Forever alone who? You.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Terrance was going to clean his room but then he got high, do you know why? because terrance is addicted to illicit street drugs and should seek medical help.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs? A: Russell

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why Can't Asian women drive? a: Cause they are chink assholes who have only peripheral vision

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do u know when someone is horny? look at there pants

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's the difference between a lamborghini and a sackful of dead babies? one is a car and the other is a grotesque travesty.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why is there so much hate in the world? Because you touch yourself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why did Captain Hook die? He wiped.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops