Goon Bear+Homo= Corey Jacobs True Story

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blood is red also Nothing else is blue

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If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

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What's orange and doesn't bounce? A flat basketball

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2

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what do a snake and a bird have in common? they can both fly! except for the snake.

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How many ears does Chuck Norris have? Two.

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Why did Doris fall down the stairs? Because she was a stupid, uncoordinated old hag with no control over her bladder.

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What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

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Why was the black man shot, He resisted against a highly political challenger. Unfortunately for him the Armenian politician was not a very nice guy.

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

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Why did the man jump off the bridge. Because he found his beloved wife cheating on him with his life-long friend that he meet when they both where in pre-school.

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- knock knock. ... - knock knock. ... - heey! ... (There is nobody at home.)

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Why couldn't the little boy see anything? It was dark outside.

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- I have cancer. - SUCK IT UP!!!

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Knock knock, Knock knock jokes aren't funny.

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So dont touch it

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What do Laura Bush and 9/11 have in common? George Bush did them.

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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What's worse than a dead man?  2 dead men

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Not at all, I find your perception of things like that quite pleasing, you obviously care about me, and care about your wife, that's nice.

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What's hard and straight going in, and soft and sticky coming out? chewing gum

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Why did the man get hit by a van? He was blind, and his guide dog was an idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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