Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

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What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

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Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

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What is a bear's favorite televison show? It doesnt have one because it is a bear which makes watching television an illogical fallacy.

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What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

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Why did Billy get a 102% on his Algebra test? He got all of the questions correct including the bonus question. Oh, and he slept with the teacher.

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Guess What? What? Get in the van.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

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Why did the boy cross the road Because he needed to get to the bus stop

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like my drawing of a white person?

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

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Person 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Person 2: Sure! Person:1: That was the joke... You missed it!!!!!

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The mouse and the elephant went to take a bath. They had a nice time.

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

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A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

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How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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What did the Engineer say to the English major? Hey we went to the same school and got different degrees! Cool!

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Get in the car

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Why was Steve buried in Australia? Because he was dead.

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Penis.

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Why did the white guy feel awkward at the black people convention? He didn't know anyone there

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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