What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

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A homeless boy walks up to a woman. "I'm hungry" "Then you should eat something."

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What was the pirate's favorite letter? Q.

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A:Will you be my valentine? B:No

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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A Jew and a Muslim are sitting in a bar. The Muslim asks the Jew for some money to buy a drink. The Jew said, "how much?" The Muslim said, "$7.00" The Jew then said, "yes."

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Do yo know what a decasexual is? A decasexual, as defined on various websites, is somebody who has strong physical attractions to male humans, female humans, male animals, female animals, sounds, smells, tastes, feelings, movements and objects. The term decasexual derives from the latin language, meaning "ten sexualities". Decasexuals exist everywhere.

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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*ring ring ring* hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) *beep beep beep*

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guiar who? Violin.

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R2-D2 is quite possibly the most vulgar character on the set of Star Wars. Every word he says is bleeped out.

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My Girlfriend

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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You want to know what is worse than having a teen parent? Being a teen parent.

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Knock Knock It's Open!

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What did the deer say to the hunter? Deers are animals, they haven't yet evolved enough to talk..

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We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

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What did Stephen Hawking say about Stephen Hawking Anti-jokes? "They're stupid".

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a convicted rapist.

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Do you wanna build a snowman? Person: do you wanna live * or nah

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, but doesn't look like a duck? A horse named Quackie

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Three hispanic men pull up to a suburban residence. They pick up their friend and go see a movie.

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what did the orphan say to the adults wanting to adopt him? i hope u will provide well living conditions because i have lost both of my parents and am forced to live off one meal a day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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