Superman: Batman, can you drive? Batman: No, but I can drive the batmobile.

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Your computer will self - destruct in 5 seconds

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a truck

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Ask me if I'm a peanut. Are you a peanut? Yes. Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No, I'm a peanut.

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A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

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What is red, and bucket shaped? A red bucket.

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Knock knock. Hello dear. Come in.

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whats worse then biting into a worm and finding an apple??? getting raped up the butt by a giant tiger!

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours being in a zoo But don't worry I'll be there too Behind the bars, laughing at you

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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what do you call a cat that talks a talking cat

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A woman goes to the doctor.....She has terminal cancer.

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What did the patient say when the doctor told him he had aids? "Oh my god. Are you sure?"

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What is Osama Bin Laden's favorite food? I don't know, and to be completely honest I doubt you do either.

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What do u call a gay guy with a long dik Dickgimme a lick

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roses are red violet are blu--- blue? violets are violet! weird, isn't it?

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says Why the bloody face? The shark replies by saying my wife beat me with a stick. Considering that sharks cant talk, the bartender ends up going to the doctor to see if he may be dillousinal.

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knock knock Come in.

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A jew went to Germany.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

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the guy below me is gay

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What is the difference between Batman and a black man? Their skin color and bank accounts.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? SOL.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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