what do you do when a woman tells you no? cut her tongue out

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno, that's why I asked you.

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Yo moma is so fat. yep.

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Why did the lizard turn blue? He was low on oxygen.

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What did the African boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he celebrates Kwanza.

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What is this, a center for ants? No, this is a model of the building proportionally smaller than the one we will be building.

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Ancient Greeks rights

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Roses are black, violets are black, i am blind!

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Your Mom

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Q:What kind of pizza did the World Trade Center order? A:Two Plains

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There are two horses in a stable. They were just talking about the weather and other normal things. Suddenly, the dog ran in. "HELP, HELP!!!" The dog screamed. Farmer Brandy got stuck in the tractor!!! The horses said, "HOLY SHIT........... A TALKING DOG!!!!"

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Roses are red, violets are blue, cheeseburger.

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Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

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what do we want a cure for turrets! when do we want it C U NT !!!

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What happens when you put a bunch of Republicans in a room together? They form a caucus.

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Why did the gorilla leave the zoo? He didn't, he was released.

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How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours? Put on an entertaining movie.

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I'm gay.

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When does 1=17? How many schizophrenics does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

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A blind guy sees a nuclear bomb.... he dies.

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What did the patient say when the doctor told him he had aids? "Oh my god. Are you sure?"

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roses are black, violets are black, im sleeping

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It's kind of hard to die when you're in a freezer.

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What's green and has wheels? A chinese race car driver.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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