how did the horse fall into the river? he sliped

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Of two wrongs don't make a right what do they make? I don't know but three rights make a left

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you make a baby eat his food? Make one first

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red Violets are blue Little billy was annoying me But he can't anymore Because now he's dead In a burlap sack In the back of my truck And it's really bloody back there

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was about to get raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the white guy feel awkward at the black people convention? He didn't know anyone there

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

There are two types of people in this world. People who can count, and people who can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the mushroom jock say to the mushroom nerd? your and ugly wimpy mushroom....and i am on steroids

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

thumb_up thumb_down +20

knock knock who's there? julian julian who? julian gonzalez

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A Horse walks into a Bar The Bartender runs for his life as he is tripping on acid and believes the horse is a sheep. He doesn't like sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a man with no arms or legs after he got into a fight with his cat? You call him by his name and apologize for leaving catnip on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

i want to eat a horse out jaffa cake

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you make a clown cry? You kill his family and chop off his legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many beans are in a soup? Who cares i'm starving, Lets Eat!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? A rape victim.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Wy did Bryan eet his Dumbelllle? Anderson fell asleep again

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A rabbi, a preist, and a homosexual are at a bar... What a fine example of a well cultured community.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops