why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape her abusive father

What is the difference between a grape and an elephant? They are both grapes, except for the elephant.

MICHAEL

What did the dead man say at his own funeral? Nothing, he's dead...

R2-D2 is quite possibly the most vulgar character on the set of Star Wars. Every word he says is bleeped out.

Why did Chuck Norris go to Chuck E Cheeses? Because his friend wanted to go.

What do you get when you cross a lion with a rhinoceros? A trip to the hospital and animal cruelty charges.

Q.What is the bigest lie in the universe? A. I have read and agree the the Terms of Service.

-Knock Knock -Who is it? -Your father, i forgot my keys.

*ring ring ring* hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) *beep beep beep*

Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

Why is Obama's name Obama? Obama

Why did Doris fall down the stairs? Because she was a stupid, uncoordinated old hag with no control over her bladder.

How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

My Girlfriend

What's green and invisible? This cabbage.

Q: What do cows do on the weekends? A: They go to the Moovies Q:What do pigs do on the weekends? A:Go Bowling

Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

Why was the black man hanged? He was charged with piracy in the 1500s..

Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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