What's wrong with four black people in a cadillac driving off a cliff? The Cadillac holds 5

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Uh, if I say that I am that girl, am I going to be safe?

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I asked the librarian for a book on suicide. She said "I'm sorry we don't have those in stock." So I just hung myself.

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There was an old man from Limerick. He was of scottish ancestry and nearing his 76th birthday.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his pig? Wheres my Pig?

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What do you get when you cross a lion with a rhinoceros? A trip to the hospital and animal cruelty charges.

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Your Momma is so ugly, she got plastic surgery.

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whats a worse movie than saw I don't know my mom won't let me watch any

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Not the World Trade Center.

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A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

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What do you call a guy who acts straight but is really not? Verl.

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When life gives you: High Fructose Corn Syrup,Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid,Maltodextrin, Sodium Acid Phosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Calcium Fumarate, Yellow 5, Tocopherol, and less than 2% natural flavours... Make lemonade.

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why did the boy dress up like a girl? because he has autism.

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what do you call a stupid chav? Gifted

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A boss walks into a bar and hires the first man he sees. He fires everyone else, no matter what their occupation.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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whats short and has spots? A mouse with the chicken pocks.

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What's the difference between a zebra and a newspaper? Everything.

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why didn't bobby eat breakfast? because i stapled his head to the floor

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What's worse then being HIV positive? Catching the cold the next day.

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antijokes

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Why did Obama win the president election He had a greater amount of votes that Jonh mccain

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Why was 9 afraid of 1? Because when dialed together, an emergency call was most likely coming and 9 is very sensitive to those types of moments

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What band protects hope in current music? Nickelback.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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