Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

Women's rights.

Knock knock Come in!

One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

What's black and full of coke? a bottle of coca-cola

"luke Bastiaan" "So, whens your period?"

Giving birth to the antichrist

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

What do you call a black man who flies planes? A pilot, what do you call him you freaking racist!?!?!?!?!?

What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

My friends are like trampolines I have none

a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

What's white and can't climb a tree? A refridgerator What's white heavy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A polar bear

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and the cut his head off

Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

Whats funnier than killing a black guy. Nothing, it's not funny.

why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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