- Anti Joke

Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

Wanna here somethin funny? Nope.avi

Whats worse than finding one worm in your apple? Two worms.

What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Non-believers.

Whats the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick into someones ass

A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

Why happened when a clothes line walked into a bar? He got hung over

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

Chuck Norris died.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

Two men sit down at a bar. First man: I hear you're having a baby! Second man: My wife had a miscarriage. First man: Oh.... The talking ceased

i want to eat a horse out jaffa cake

What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an orgy.

Chaney is a dumb b****

why did the koala fall out of the tree it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree it was fit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree it was inside the fridge why did the 6th koala fall out of the tree it was punished for dropping a fridge why did the 7th koala fall out of the tree it committed suicide after framing the 6th koala

What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: Nothing Really

What do you call a fridge? Dorothy.

Wy did Bryan eet his Dumbelllle? Anderson fell asleep again

A rabbi, a preist, and a homosexual are at a bar... What a fine example of a well cultured community.

What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? A rape victim.

How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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