Why couldn't the pirate get into the adult movie? He had just spent the last of his money at Ihop with his friends, and is now regretting ordering two Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruitys when he was really only hungry for one.

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What does a Jew do when he sees a masked man at his door? He grabs a phone to alert the police and hides in his bedroom.

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Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

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You know George Washington? He died.

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SAD STORY: Boy: Make me a sandwich. Girl: No.

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How do you kill a blond wearing a hat? Shoot her in the face.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pizza. Pizza who? Delivery.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Satan. Oh **** go away.

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Pavel Novak

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Your computer will self - destruct in 5 seconds

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Doctor! Doctor! Can I have a second opinion? The Doctor then sits the patient down and tells them from a different perspective that they have terminal Cancer and will be dead by the end of the year.

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How many times does it take a blond to start a car? Usually once; however, the weather may have an impact how well the engine will spark.

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what do you do when a woman tells you no? cut her tongue out

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You won't put that in your ass.... No shit.

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A Man walks into a car dealership and asks the salesman "How many of these Blue ones do you have in stock" ? The salesman looks at the Man and begins to cry. "Why are you crying" asks the Man "I had a dog named Blue once" replied the salesman. And then he ate a taco in front of the Man,wiped his hands on his slacks and slowly backed away from him. The Man thought to himself..."Gee I'm hungry" and left the car dealership to go buy a taco instead.

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JESSSSIICCCCCAAAAAA!

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A black man and a black woman are in a car, who's driving? The police.

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Q: how do you get a man with one arm out of a tree? A: shoot him

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Your Mama is so stupid She shot herself by accident and died. Your family has not stopped mourning since

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Wanna hear 2 short jokes and a long joke? Joke, joke , joooooookkkeeee

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A. Wanna Hear a funny joke? B. Yes! A. The WNBA.

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How did the Jews get out of Germany? They didn't..

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What is worse than falling into a pit of needles? being lit on fire and then falling into a pit of needles I imagine

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co jo kurwa tocza?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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