What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +40

So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Whats sad about a black women killing herself? She was my mother

thumb_up thumb_down +38

This is'nt a joke but like if it pisses you off when people comment on there own joke pretending to be someone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call a deaf person? You don't they can't hear you.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Mmmm, donuts

thumb_up thumb_down +36

There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what do you call four black people in a red sleeping bag? -a very snug sleeping bag as they can rarely fit more then one person comfortably

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: How do you fit a giraffe inside a refrigerator? A: You can't, it is physically impossible...

thumb_up thumb_down +36

I'm not as random as you think i salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the black guy hate the white guy??? Because the white guy enslaved his ancestors.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Homosexual babies? It's a choice

thumb_up thumb_down +32

how many jews did hitler kill during the holocaust? too many jews

thumb_up thumb_down +32

If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Yo mommas so stupid, she got raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

So this guy drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later the girl has a misscarrage.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

69

thumb_up thumb_down +30

knock knock your gay

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do you kill a Russian? You shoot him with a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what time is it rape time

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops