roses are red violets are blue i thought i was ugly but then i met you

thumb_up thumb_down +13

When I was at the beach digging in the sand I looked down and someone said nehow

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A feminist walked into a bar and had her period

thumb_up thumb_down +9

dog

thumb_up thumb_down +9

potato farming

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what happened to the chicken that crossed the road? it got hit by a taco truck

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Justin Bieber is a talented singer.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is fat and ugly? Your American MUM!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's black and white, and red all over? newspaper...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Icecream

thumb_up thumb_down +7

BARRACK OBAMA.............WHAT A JOKE!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many teenagers does it take to change a light? 1. Unless he has some sort of disablity then probably 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why Do Indians Not Like Snow? Because it is white and on their land

thumb_up thumb_down +5

here i am sitting here staring at the wall and beside me is a doll, oh no its moving, i hope it doesnt lick tht popsicle, oh no it just licked tht popsicle, oh no oh no

thumb_up thumb_down +5

*ring ring ring* hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) *beep beep beep*

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We have reason to believe you are hiding large amounts of narcotics in your residence and have obtained a search warrant for the premises. Open the door or we will be required to use forceful means of entry.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops