if quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? testicle

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What's worse than dropping your phone in the toilet? Drinking only milk and honey for 7 days and then getting diarrhea while lying chained up completely naked with red fire ants going up your anus and all over your body while you get eaten alive in slow painfully miserable death

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A man walks into a bar.

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God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

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What's the similarity between a dog and a car? They're both made out of atoms.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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So a blonde was trying to peel a banana, but she couldn't because she was viciously attacked by chimpanzees and had all her fingers bitten off

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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Q:Why did the chicken cross the road A:Why does everyone want to know it's just a chicken

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what did the black person say to the midget my dicks bigger than u

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a man and a woman are standing at a bar. they have a few drinks and then go home and die.

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why is 6 afraid of 7?? because 7 8 9

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How many dead babies can you fit in a cooler? 5. using a blender to puree` = 9

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What Mary short for? Due to the fact she has no legs, on account of the flesh eating she contracted after a visit to argentina thanks to the make-a-wish foundation. Mary also has cancer

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Why couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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What's the best part about a birthday cake? Eating it.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? Horse semen

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What's more dangerous than bungee jumping without a rope? Getting into a car with Ben Colbert.

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Ever heard about the gray pipes that ran along the walls? Those pipes transmit gas. Gas killed the jews. You sick fucker.

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Whats the difference........ between a duck?

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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A hot girl walks by a boy and he stares at her as she walks past. She see's him and asks "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied "Oh I'm sorry. You happened to look familiar and I thought 'Perhaps I've met this person before. School? No. Work? No. I then concluded I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at".

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your momma so ugly even she wouldnt date herself.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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