What is a ghost's favorite dessert? Nothing. Ghosts do not exist, thus they cannot eat dessert.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

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How did the fireman get the cat out of the tree? He shot it.

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How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

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penis

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What's the fastest animal on earth? An Ethiopian chicken.

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Whats worse than being gay? Nothing.

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What's worse than finding mold on your cheese? Getting Raped

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Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

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Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

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four people walk into a maze with a billion dollars in the middle.the people are santa clause, the easter bunny, a smart mexican, and a dumb mexican. Who gets the money. oviously the dumb mexican gets it. why you ask. because the other three are not real.

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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what's worse than one scoop of ice crea falling on the floor? - the holocaust what's worse than two scoops of ice cream falling on the floor? - nothing

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Two men sit down at a bar. First man: I hear you're having a baby! Second man: My wife had a miscarriage. First man: Oh.... The talking ceased

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whats gay ? you

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F U C K Y O U W I T H Y O U R A N T I J O K E S

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Obama enters a KKK meeting Obama: Oh sorry I thought this was the Kentucky Fried Chicken... the font was so small so... as he starts backing off scared... KKK: leader, of course Mr.President, feel free to come again anytime! Moral: Kings Knocking Ketchup is actually a nice place if you not unlike me enjoy ketchup...

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How do you get your wife to stop nagging? chop off her head

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Don't rape me!

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What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern pornography collections.

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How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

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If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

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Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops