Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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What do you get when you mix a fox and a sloth? a..FOTH

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??????????????(?)/// ????????(^0^)/

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A scottish and a mexican were walking on the streets when the mexican got hit by a car. The scottish man called the ambulance and walkked away.

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Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Why was the black man excited when he found a $20 bill on the ground? -Anyone would be excited

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guns don't kill people. casey anthoney kills people.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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why was the girl in the corner with a knife? she's an emo

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Q: Has your ear operation had success? A: Hotdog with chili.

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What is worse worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

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A Man walks into a car dealership and asks the salesman "How many of these Blue ones do you have in stock" ? The salesman looks at the Man and begins to cry. "Why are you crying" asks the Man "I had a dog named Blue once" replied the salesman. And then he ate a taco in front of the Man,wiped his hands on his slacks and slowly backed away from him. The Man thought to himself..."Gee I'm hungry" and left the car dealership to go buy a taco instead.

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omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

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A black man and a black woman are in a car, who's driving? The police.

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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i had a bowl of soup and it was 5 inches in diameter and 3 inches tall. how much soup did i eat? very little because i drank most of it

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What is wrong with this phrase? The next line is false. The first line is true. Answer: llamas

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Why did Jimmy fail his math test? Because he had a mental disability

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Why did the man say how was your day? because it was the end of the day

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Ah dead on it was all Taggart!!!

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There are four types of people in this world. I never said I would name them all

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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