How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

josh roberts you speccy cuunt

Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

Why couldn't the boy see his sick mother? Because he was blind

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why did we start questioning the philosophical reasoning of chickens?

Knock knock Who's there? Alzhiemers guy Alzhiemers guy who? Knock knock

if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

A Muslim blows up a bar

You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon

Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

What happened to the black man when his alarm went off? He got up and took a shower. Then he got dressed and went to church because it was Sunday.

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

A chicken met a chicken, And they were chickens two, Two chickens met two chickens, And they were chickens too. Four chickens met a boiling pot And they were chicken stew.

The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 was racist.

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

A man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is crippling his family.

Three blondes walk into a community college.

What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

Why was the man so unhappy. he died

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...