A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

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Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

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What do you cal a thousand black people swimming to Africa with a Jew under each arm? Waterboarding.

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What do you call a Mexican and a Black man on the moon? Astronauts.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

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What's worse than the titanic sinking 9-11

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World peace

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Why did the elephant fall into the hot chocolate? It fell off the marshmellow.

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How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

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a priest a rabbi and a minister all walk into a bar and the bartender says "is this a joke?"

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What do you get when you combine High Fructose corn syrup. sunflower oil, carbohydrates, and water. How the heck should I know!

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Did you hear the one about the blonde who went to the grocery store? She walked in, purchased the items that she specified on her shopping list, then left and went to her daughter's piano recital.

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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Freddie Mercurys teeth

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It's your mother, open the door.

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Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

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Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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Women's rights.

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Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Two people were walking down the street. One was assaulted.

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NEVER

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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