What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

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Why did the baby cross the street. Because he was attached to the chicken.

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When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

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An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

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why wouldn't the printer print? because it had no ink.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a wolf that eventually killed and ate it.

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How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

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A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Trust me im a doctor but this is pratice

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knock, knock whos there? steve steve who? steve johnson hi steve

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

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Two blondes walk into a bar. There is a fat man there, but nobody talks to him

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whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing you should be worrying about the future not the past.

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i said "what what in the butt, i said what what in the butt?"

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whats 2+2? 69 LOL

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What do you get when you cross a lion with a rhinoceros? A trip to the hospital and animal cruelty charges.

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why cant the black man vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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When life gives you Lebanon, make lebanonanade.

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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What happened? I have absolutely no idea.

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Q: What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? A: "E"

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Pavel Novak

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So a man rapes a little girl but rips her eyes out before he does it. In court he said the appropriate thing about this was that she could not see it cuming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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