What did the one man say to the other? Nothing, they didn't know eachother

thumb_up thumb_down +44

An Irish man, a Scottish man and an English man walk into a bar ... The Irish man's a bit dim, the Scotsman's tight with money and the Englishman's a bit of a racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +40

a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did Sam say when the basketball hit her face? Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a whore, Let's have sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Did you know why people actually fear clowns? Because slapstick humor is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A horse walks into a bar...n

thumb_up thumb_down +34

how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the man say to his wife? Go make me a sandwich!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was the woman convicted or arson? She set her house on fire. Why did she set her house on fire? Her husband was beating her.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +30

"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops