What did the penis say to the vagina? Nothing, genitalia can't speak.

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Goon Bear+Homo= Corey Jacobs True Story

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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Two blonds are racing. Who wins? The first one to pass he finish line.

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Q; Why does paint dry? A; Because plankton are single cell organisms

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why did the old woman die? Because she was too old to live

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A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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Why don't I ever lmao? Because my ass got bitten off by a bear.

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What's has 4 wheels But ain't a blue car A red car

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Why did the japanese bomb pearl harbor? they wanted to weaken the US naval fleet to stop the US embargo on oil being shipped to japan

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Why was the girl crying? She got kicked in the vagina

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My friend may look like a circle but..... ......He's actually a square.......

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

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Windows Vista

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What did the cow call the hen? A hen, what else would you call it?

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

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potato farming

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Why did the blind man drown? Because he couldn't swim.

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What do you call a female duck? A duck.

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What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops