Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

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French people

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What's wrong with four black people in a cadillac driving off a cliff? The Cadillac holds 5

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What's better than Justin Bieber's new hit single, "Baby"? Everything

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What is worse than getting a paper cut? Your whole family dying to MERS in Peru before you were old enough to remember any of them.

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Once upon a time there was a prince and a princess. They married as was the social custom of the time, and produced a series of children whose purpose was to sustain the royal bloodline for many years to come. AF

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog.

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A horse walks into a bar. It neighs and knocks over a few tables before leaving the bar confused.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, the sky is grey so is the grass everything is grey, as i am colourblind

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the guy below me is gay

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What do you call a supporter of Barrack Obama? A welfare recipient

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What did the man do when he saw the dog? Ran it over

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How many apples fit in a garbage bag? I actually don't know. I was asking you.

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what did you call a downer in the medieval times? spazalot

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Hummer.

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Will you marry me?

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A black man walks into a bar and see's a mexican bartender. He orders some vodka.

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The WNBA

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Why didn't the boy eat peanut butter? He had Arachibutyrophobia.

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Do you know how I know that you're gay? You told me you are gay.

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Knock Knock. Who the hells there? Nevermind.

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Why does Justin Beiber's asswhole hurt, and his father's dick was brown? Because he ate mexican food and his on his dad's dick.

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Why did the lady spill her coffee? The waiter accidently ran into her and then apologized.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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