How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What happens when Batman Robin and Wonder woman go on a date? Somebody isn't getting laid.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Do you know how I know that you're gay? You told me you are gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why didn't the boy eat peanut butter? He had Arachibutyrophobia.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you give a small child when you don't have any candy? Nothing, you just kidnap them.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs? A: Russell

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Jesus Christ walks into a Hotel.. he hands the Inn keeper 3 nails and says " Hey..can you put me UP for the night?"

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Yo mama so fat, she most likely wont live to 40

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What Mary short for? Due to the fact she has no legs, on account of the flesh eating she contracted after a visit to argentina thanks to the make-a-wish foundation. Mary also has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did Susie fall off a swing? She had an inner ear infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the pig fly cuz his wife is a bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What's big and purple? Something that's big and purple

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Ken: Your dog is sick, he needs to see a vet. Megan: Omg, what is it? Ken: It's a medical person who treats animals.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q:Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple A:You have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Whats worse than a flat tire? penile fracture

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the boy do when he was cold? Got a blanket.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

thumb_up thumb_down +34

why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

You know what's annoying When you suddenly die of a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops