What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your neighbor My neighbor who? I already told you, it's pronounced "Wu". I'm very sorry, Mr. Wu

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What do you call a Colombian who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a piece of toast.

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Q:A man has 100 chocolate bars he eats 93 of them. What has he got now? A:Diabetes

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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Stevie wonder walks across the road without looking both ways.

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Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

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whats the difference between a black person , spook and a porchmoney.... there is none there all stupid stinky n-ag-ger-s

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how do u get a nun off the bottom of a cruise ship you untie her

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Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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How many blondes does is take to screw a man? one and a condem

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Why do cows have tails? Because my pet rock stopped breathing.

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What's worse than a School Bus accident? The Holocaust.

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Noobz -wondering why your valid anti-joke is getting voted down? Simply because it's a repeat, someone else has already submitted it. Only the original is valid for positive to votes. The regulars on here willallvote a repeat down immediately. I have 3 accounts set upwith different IP's just to do that. You have been warned. Search first mo fo's

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whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? the wheelchair

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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a blonde and a brunette sit down to take an IQ test. They both scored above average and were very proud.

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Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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