Roses are black, violets are black, i am blind!

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What did the prostitute say to the cop? What? I can suck your dick for free Mr. Officer

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Why did the girl cross the road? She didn't. Well, she tried but when she was halfway there, she was hit by a bus and had to be rushed to the hospital.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Your in the wrong hemisphere

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My butt!!!!

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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JESSSSIICCCCCAAAAAA!

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this dock and it makes me wana quack like what the hell is THAT!

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Q: What did the casual mathematician discover at the end of his vivid rainbow of dreams (Question mark- key`s screwed) A: Enough dirt to fill 3141592+ treasure chests to the brim.

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what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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Why did little Susie light herself on fire? Answer: She wanted to be warm

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God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

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roses are red violet are blu--- blue? violets are violet! weird, isn't it?

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says Why the bloody face? The shark replies by saying my wife beat me with a stick. Considering that sharks cant talk, the bartender ends up going to the doctor to see if he may be dillousinal.

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Q:Why did the chicken cross the road A:Why does everyone want to know it's just a chicken

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How do u know when someone is horny? look at there pants

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Why is that blond girl so dumb? Because she has fetal alcohol syndrome.

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Why didn't Peter get anything from his parents for Christmas? His parents have been dead for 5 years

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Chuck Norris' farts are silent and deadly. Deadly because he's Chuck Norris, silent because his butthole is extremely loose

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The WNBA

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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Why did Susie fall off a swing? She had an inner ear infection.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Ever heard about the gray pipes that ran along the walls? Those pipes transmit gas. Gas killed the jews. You sick fucker.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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