Where do rabbais go to shop? At the supermarket like everyone else.

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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What's worse than a woman driver? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

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How do you get your wife to stop nagging? chop off her head

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what did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? cancer.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have a pie would you like some?

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Do you want to hear a joke? Well, I do too.

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why couldnt helen keller drive? because shes a woman.

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What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

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If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

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a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

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An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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*ring ring ring* hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) *beep beep beep*

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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You want to know what is worse than having a teen parent? Being a teen parent.

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what do you call a diver with no arms and no legs? a bobber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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